Hold a black beating mass

Has anyone really sat down and listened to what a lot of Beatles songs are saying? Cause, if you are or will, I wish you luck. I have no fucking clue what any of the late songs are talking about. I know they were on drugs, but really. Really.

I Am The Walrus - WTF?
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - I don't even...

It's whatever, though. Cause does it really matter? No. Because they are still considered one of the most amazing and influential bands in existence.

What brought this up is my recent fascination with the amazing film Across The Universe. Holy monkey nuts, I demand that everyone rent this movie. Or just cut to the chase and save a few bucks by going ahead and buying it. Because it is such an amazing movie. You laugh, you relate, you understand.

But, really, there are a few parts of the movie where they definitely captured The Beatles druggie days with strange LSD trips and odd view points. At times, I wondered what it would look like if I really were high. I'd most likely be tripping balls and wanna die. Seriously. But, I was sober, so I just looked, shook my head and moved on.

But, with all my heart, I would love for everyone to see this. It really means a lot if I buy the movie, the DELUXE soundtrack and write a goddamn blog. So, this must be special. :/

DO IIIIIT. D:

What the fuck? Something seriously has to be wrong with the world. Just in my last blog, I said how much I love this person, right? Well, I've been thinking a lot lately about our relationship, and I realized that I was still very confused. So I texted her and asked, verbatim, "What am I to you? I'm always so confused about us because I don't know exactly how you feel about me. I'm not looking for flattery, just the truth." You know what she texted back?

"I don't know."

YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW?! Well, that's just GREAT to throw out there NOW. Now that I've fallen head-over-FUCKING-heels for the pretty closet case, she decides to tell me that she does't know how she feels about me.

Well, fan-FUCKING-tastic.

It's not like I think about you all day long, or dream about you almost every night, or go into stores and see things that I know you would love and BUY them for you. DO I SOUND BITTER? No. Not at all.

But the thing that I'm most mad about, is the fact that even now, as I write this, all I can think about are ways to make her know. Make her know how she feels. And make her realize that I love her so fucking much. That all I want to do is live out life with her, and look at the stars together, and kiss her every second of all the days. Because I love her.

And because I want her to love me too.

FIN.//with confusion

----
EDIT.// More confused now. She claims that when she kissed me, she didn't know that it would mean anything to me. This is bullshit, and I'm tired of it.

I'm not really a risky person, you know. I hardly ever take that leap of faith that many encourage me to, and it often leaves me in a reluctant state. If I died today, I'd probably have a lot of regrets, because I've isolated myself so much throughout my life, regarding my social interactions.

Fortunately, I am still very young and have my whole life ahead of me to be the outgoing person I want to be. I have about 50 years to do all the things that I believe will leave me with a feeling that I have lived a full life.

So, the meaning of this hopeful introduction was brought upon by my recent baby step closer to the edge of my emotionally crippled cliff that I wish to one day plunge off of. This little leap was the act of kissing someone. A person whom I have liked, hell LOVED, for over a year. This person has had similar feelings for me, thankfully, and together we made a surprise single effort to further our relationship. With a kiss.

This is one thing that I will never regret. I am so happy that we are finally in the kind of relationship that I've wanted for so long.

If I died today, I would at least be glad that I got the girl. And kissed her too. :]

FIN.//with love

----
EDIT.// This person can go fuck themselves. I don't wanna cry anymore.

In a little desk chair in my sister's room. LEG CRAMPS, MUCH? D:<


But, she's being nice and not killing my for invading her nap time. LULZ@SLEEPY TIME. <3


OH, so my half-partner (WHUT?) Melina has been hanging out with these guys that she knows for the past couple of days. And, because we all live in this small fucking town where everyone knows everyone else somehow, my BFF/jill Sam calls me to warn me about one of these guys. Matt, a guy who I first met with GLOWING NIPPLES, apparently has the hots for my baby. WTF? And, she says he'll talk all the sweet he can so that she'll maybe let him do heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. D;


DO NOT WANT. MEGA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE. ;~;


Men just have to have that hunk-a-junk down there with it's own brain. Well, you know what? I WANT A BRAIN FOR MY VAGINA.


WHERE IS GOD NOW? CAUSE,  HE OWES ME A VAGINA BRAIN. D:<


FIN. //with anger